Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Josh's LiveJournal:

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Monday, September 18th, 2006
10:56 pm	This is the bell curve, darling Fashion lesson #1: Ignore science and math - it has no place in fashion. I know this may seem like an overstatement, but it is the truth. Recalling my background in math got me in trouble this past week. I noticed a mistake in a textbook conveniently written by one of my professors. This professor is a veteran of the fashion industry and could write a dissertation on virtually any obscure style from any era. The mistake she made wasn't related to anything contextual - I wouldn't dream of correcting her in the field of fashion. However, I found a graph in the book labeled a “bell curve” when obviously it is nothing of the sort. I've taken a statistics course; I did very well in it too. I knew damn well that a bell curve is based off of a normal distribution. It is called a bell curve because the probability density looks like a bell. This graph was almost a crescent, but clearly not a "bell" shape. The data in the distribution did not fit the definition of a bell curve either. I approached the professor after class and kindly suggested she rename the graph because it is not a bell curve. She gently touched my arm, and in a permanently faked Europhile accent told me: "Darling, this is the way the bell curve works in fashion." I was in shock at the nerve of her comment. How could anyone pervert science in such a fashion? (Pardon the pun) I gathered what politeness I could and explained to her that it actually is a scientific term and she could easily rename it to a different shape in the next edition - she could even sell more textbooks that way! Alas, my efforts proved futile. She touched my arm again and told me (in the same accent): "Darling, this is fashion, not science, and this is how it works in fashion." Aghast, I walked away in horror at the industry I'm about to enter. I need to find logic in this world of chaos. xposted from Vox (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 17th, 2006
11:05 am	Turning point Hi, I thought I should let you all know that I'm changing blogging services. My new method of scribal stimuli will be itfashion.vox.com As some of you already know, I'm attending fashion school. In my new blog I will be writing about the fashion industry coming from a nerd's perspective. There aren't many of us in the industry, but as of now I have found out that kindness gets you everywhere, so my facade is safe. Given the focus of my new blog, I will be updating at least once per week with an insight on one aspect of the industry. For now I will try and xpost them to LJ. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 11th, 2006
2:23 pm	I drove by a construction site today with 4 workers. Three of them were engaged in something that looked like work. This struck me as an efficient use of my tax dollars. Thankfully I didn't get into an accident. On a side note, I've decided to go to F.I.T (Fashion Institute of Technology) instead of Parsons. It is a coin flip to gage which institution has more prestige, but the side of the coin labeled "Parsons" weighs $25,000 more per year. I let gravity do its work to make my decision. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 31st, 2006
5:29 pm	Continued education? Check "On behalf of the Committee on Admissions I am very pleased to inform you that your application for admission to Parsons has been accepted" Fashion Marketing and Merchandising? Sounds fun. See you guys in New York next year. Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: Who cares? (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
1:35 am	Hippies and other Malefic Scars upon this Planet I’m not an unreasonable person. I’m easy-going, passive, and selectively benevolent. To draw my ire, someone truly must be: a vile human being, inefficient, or a hippie. Outside of the GMU Economics department, I typically only encounter the latter two. That leaves me with two execratory archetypes to absorb my passive aggressive impetuous. Outside of pop-influenced Christmas music and cross-country races, very few things raise my heart to the same level as when useless people ingurgitate (I’ve waited 2 years to use this word in context) valuable (wo)man-hours. As I stand in front of the counter waiting for my sandwich to be made, my mind is in a whirlwind of chaos. Why do they keep the cheese on the opposite side of the room as the bread? Why is the bread kept so far away from the meat? Why is this woman putting on tomatoes when obviously I can’t handle that much acidity in my food? I’ve tried to order as efficiently as possible by observing the patterns of the same woman week after week. I’ve constructed a science in attempt to streamline her work processing capabilities. Alas, my efforts have failed. I have eaten in Prince William for what will hopefully be the last time and I still think of this woman when I see road construction during rush hour. Ever since my last roommate, I’ve done everything I can to anathematize hippies sans constructing a prayer circle with holy water, hair from a vestal virgin, and a kosher blessing from a rabbi. Despite laying my train tracks outside of a haze of bong smoke, there are regrettably, shared crossroads between them and myself. I like going to the occasional concert. Hippies like occasionally leaving a concert (probably to restock drugs). In this small window of opportunity, I’m assaulted by an unprecedented conflagration of stupidity and filth. Last Saturday night Holly and I went to see a Rusted Root concert. It was a good enough show that even the hippies (and there were a lot of them) could not ruin it. It started out normally enough until some guy – we’ll call him Leper – simply forgot the concept of personal space. Leper was slithering through the crowd, trying to dance his way to the front but ran out of room for forward progress (A metaphor for his life maybe?). Initially stunned, Leper looked up at his surroundings and did the only thing that came natural to him: he thrashed in a pseudo-dance-sort-of-way, knocking into people around him as he succumbed to the feral nature of his inner self. If this weren’t bad enough, imagine Leper going through his animalistic rampage with a lit cigarette in his hand. I didn’t want him to catch on fire – but that is only for selfish reasons due to proximity. I have more horror stories about inefficiency and hippies, but many of them are too ghastly to recall coherently. Just remember kids, say no to dreadlocks. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
10:07 am	Dear movies, why can't you entertain me? As some of you already know, and some of you have yet to figure out, movies and myself have never had a peaceful existence together. To their benefit I have seen several movies are extremely good. Unfortunately however, most of them suck. After seeing the movie Garden State I now believe I have a better understanding of how to identify this hit-or-miss dynamic. I enjoyed Garden State. I didn't think it was "cute" or "happy" but more importantly I thought it was entertaining. It was funny. It didn't go out of its way to be funny but it had a certain element to it which did not take itself seriously yet guided the viewer through an interesting journey at the same time. The pseudo-intellectual self discovery it tried to accomplish I can live without. If I'm trying to discover a buried aspect of my emotional side or learn something I'm going to read Kant, not watch a movie. Kant is more efficient. Going further into discovering this dynamic relationship between movies that suck and don't suck I thought about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. This movie is fun. While not incredibly funny it follows an interesting premise that twists the story every which way. Through the myriad of tangents that the movie takes the viewer on it hits upon a final destination of entertainment. Again, I really don't care about the self-discovery aspect of it, that's for people who enjoy saying they like an intellectual movie because there's a metaphor in it that you couldn't miss if it were glued onto the back of your hand on a 3x5 card. I guess all that I really want out of a movie is entertainment. I don't want to learn something from it or I don't want it to try and teach me something. I want a movie that shows its redeeming value either through an extravagant premise or a subtle sense of humor. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
1:23 pm	All good things must come to an end... ...as well as the stagnation of my writer's block extra-cranial journey. As a favor to you all however, I'll give you myself in a nutshell: AFK. I'll be back at some point. I need livejournal more than it needs me. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 16th, 2004
12:01 am	More tales of dormant misadventure For some reason I have a tendency to speak after just having fallen asleep – usually in response to questions asked before I’ve actually transitioned into full-scale hibernation. Last night my girlfriend – who has had a myriad of medical problems lately – attempted to have a serious conversation with me about how worried she is concerning some of the conditions. Being the sensitive individual that I am I tried to stay awake for the duration of it. Unfortunately for her I had just finished finals and was exhausted. Shortly after her rundown of worries concluded and I had fallen asleep she asked me: “What do you think?” I responded with the tactful “I think it’s because you’re from another planet.” And subsequent to that statement I tried to laud that point to her… while asleep the entire time. I wish I could still remember that dream. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
1:50 pm	Wow I shaved with a vibrating razor today and: wow. Wow. I wish I were a woman - at least one who likes chess and football. But the fun is over. It's time to study again. Current Mood: naughty Current Music: Mars Volta (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 29th, 2004
11:32 pm	Good morning in 20 minutes I usually wouldn't use this space for a product endorsement, however I have two papers to write now that are due tomorrow that I haven't started. I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last night and I have one word to say: wow. The movie is amazing. If you haven't seen it already you need to. It's like Lost in Translation but with an interesting concept and actual character development. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Queen - Greatest Hits (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 28th, 2004
12:20 am	Why is everything else more fun than studying? Is it just me or does motivation become an increasingly scarce resource as the semester draws to a close? While the Economist would say that motivation increases in value as the supply drops, I'm a philosophy major and I think otherwise. I think General Education courses can go fuck themselves a priori style. On the bright side the semester ends in 1.5 months. I also realized that I've been working at Radio Shack for too long when I tried to sell the girl I'm dating cables while sleeping. There I was peacefully asleep trying to hawk my low-quality 7% commission wares when all of a sudden she wakes me up with some nonsense about how I should stop trying to sell things to her. Maybe next time I should try the "I'm just trying to help you find solutions" approach. And now back to procrastination. Current Mood: blank Current Music: Pulp Fiction Soundtrack (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
11:58 am	Procrastination? I should be doing something... but not this. Not updating. Not yet. It's not that time of the month. However I will share with you a funny IM that I recieved the other day from my friend Claudia: Claudia: anyways since i'm bored i looked at your profile, you have a journal. wow that's low for even you, and well i looked at it! Claudia: to my dismay i'm not mentioned even once! grrrrrrrr..... i didn't read the shit, it looked long, and well i'm not that interested in you, if i really want to kno i ask, and well if you feel like it you share, i doubt that the joural is good... it's prob. full of big words and you pondering the context of summin... seriously i dunno, but reading it is one of the last things i want to do... but i know that i'm not in it! Without reading it her approximation of it based on my personallity is accurate. It is predominately big words pondering the context of summin [sic]. Maybe I should update more often when I'm drunk and change it up a bit. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Trey Anastasio - Push on 'Til the Day (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
1:31 pm	L'Shana Tova bitches I should be packing now. If you’re reading this you probably have better things to be doing too. How wonderful procrastination is when there’s always tomorrow. So I’m going to New York for the first time in about an hour. There’s nothing like celebrating Rosh Hashanah in the Jewish state of Isra… I mean New York. Before I leave, I’ll leave you with a quick story. Last week I pulled into campus at about 10:30pm to use the gym until the close time, which is at 11. I had 30 minutes and realized I had to change quickly, thus went to the back of an enormous and mostly deserted parking lot to do it. There was a car immediately on my right and a car about 5 spaces down on my left. The changing process starts well and I’m able to undress normally thanks to just wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Unfortunately I ran into difficulties getting into a pair of warm-up pants. One of my legs got stuck halfway in and it was stuck on the opposite side of the steering wheel of where it needed to go into the pants. This epic struggle proceeded for about a minute before I caught sight of a hot girl. A hot girl standing right next to my car who was now looking in the window to see what the hell happened to this poor person stuck halfway into a pair of pants. Now I’m not one to be embarrassed by nudity, but this is different. This girl gets into her car and looks at me until I finish my thrashing and finally manage to navigate my leg through the nylon catacombs of pant legs. Eager to get out of that situation as fast as possible, I throw my car into reverse and try and back out. The only problem was I accidentally put my car in drive and go forward. Over the grass embankment. Into the bushes. And got stuck. Current Mood: embarrassed Current Music: Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 15th, 2004
2:48 am	I'm alive! Well, not really. I'm just updating - don't get too excited. I enjoyed myself so much during my last several updates that I thought to commit myself to this grotesque trend. Unfortunately for you, my dear reader, I'm only able to withstand brief jaunts with masochism. Lately I've been pondering how interesting my summer has been. In an effort of consolidation I was able to unify my entire post-vernal activities into one word: training. This should answer the aforementioned question as well. I've commit myself to 5 days/week intensive weight training; 6 days/week of running to train for a 5k race; training in chess to become a nationally rated expert within a year; and training my linguistic skills to obtain a better grasp of latin. Where is all the you in my summer? All this self improvement is fun, but it's skirting around the social entity by a broader swath than Columbus took to find Asia. So wherever you are, you've let me down. Either that or it's entirely my fault and I don't like to accept blame. You pick. Deep thought of the day: 3am is too late to be writing. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 7th, 2004
9:49 pm	A punch to the intangible stomach… with brass knuckles All right, so maybe it’s not quite that bad. Albeit it depends what you consider “bad”, or how the word manifests itself in your non-neutrally biased mind. For example: John’s inability to read more words than “I”, “me”, or “my” may be indicative of a bad case of egocentricity as an adult. Jane must get laid a lot because she plays guitar like a bad-ass (Yes I know this word exists as its own entity since the 2003 M&W dictionary update, but I’m using it anyhow) Baseball is such a bad sport that some people actually mistake it for being good. My preferred context is the tertiary example. Are you confused yet? I hope so – because I am. Now allow me to exonerate myself. Lately I’ve released the power of the towering twins of productivity - Jack and Shit - to their fullest potential. The mind-numbing terror of my productivity would stagger a type A ESTJ. And I’m not as good at sarcasm as I used to be. Either that or subtlety. So I finally got around to taking the Myer’s Briggs test and being analyzed by a psychologist afterwards. Apparently I have no feelings. On the T(think)/F(feel) dichotomy I didn’t answer a single question in the direction of F. And after explaining to the psychologist my algorithms for predicting fashion in a logical sense she not only questioned my sexuality as most do after seeing my interest in fashion, but also questioned whether or not I’m sans computer chip implant. Now I’m not one that lives and dies by this test, as the results vary depending on the day and your current disposition. But how often do you get 100% in any category? Deep thought of the day: Carpal tunnel still sucks. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Weezer - In the Garage (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 19th, 2004
6:36 pm	3...2...1... update For those of you who read my last update and who will eventually read this update, I salute you. The lack of creativity and grammatical accuracy I've been exhibiting lately makes the Times New Roman font that I'm using look like a Picasso painting in comparison. In a fit of boredom and unproductively today I decided to read some of my past entries. I noticed action verbs, creativity, metaphors, clever analogies and well... a subtle refinement gained only through the trials and tribulations of actual practice. One thing lead to another and well - here I am making my second update in only a few days. Being that this is just entry is just "practice" I'm not sure if it requires any substantive content or if I can squeeze myself through the narrow window of acceptability with senseless filler. And the filler wins. Deep thought of the day: Is having lower standards the same thing as accepting quantity over quality? Current Music: Suite Bergamasque: No 4. Passepied 3:44 Debussy (Claude) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
1:48 pm	A sign of the apocalypse Before you start to read this, hold these words in the back of your mind as you traverse my tangled literary web of woeful tales: I am amazing. Not only can I destroy automotive technology with my chi, I also got a job. Are you convinced yet? If not, keep reading. In a period of ten days I’ve totaled two cars, and I’ve still yet to be in an accident with a moving vehicle. The first car broke down about two miles from my house in a nice little suburb. Apparently the transmission went the way of the dodo. Except the survival on my car wasn’t dependant on the unforgiving hand of evolution – just on my luck which is equally as unforgiving. The transmission is worth 1500. The car was worth 1000. The second wasn’t so kind to me when it decided to break down. It died on I-95 north approximately 10 miles north of Fredericksburg. This wouldn’t have been so bad, but it was raining outside and I was in a suit. At least I made it to the chess club meeting on time, even if I might have a bit of a dry-cleaning bill. Now pay attention to the shift in writing styles. I wrote the predominate portion of those last two paragraphs 40 days ago. Since all of those wonderful aforementioned events took place I’ve been flung like a rag doll into a lackadaisical spiral of unproductively. This is the first prose that I’ve written since school let out so I might be somewhat rusty. In this period of time I realized that my boss is completely inept in 99% of the social graces exhibited in most humans; can’t return phone calls; can’t return e-mails; and thinks me driving down to Fredericksburg is fun. Needless to say, this job is done with and I have a good deal of free time on my hands. With this free time I’ve been running 25-30 miles per week and lifting every other day. It’s nothing really that interesting or deserving space in my obviously convoluted journal. It’s just something to do to get in shape. One item that does deserve space however is the fact that I got to touch Natalie Portman – the second hottest Jew alive next to Brooke Burke. I went to a democratic convention in DC last night with a VIP ticket. The very important portion of the VIP ticket was a chance to be in the company of Natalie along with 999 others. Surrounded by a mob of drooling Jewish males too nervous to talk to her it wasn’t very difficult to muscle my way to the front of the line and get my picture taken with her. I’ll post it when I get it. I probably should update this thing more often. But that takes effort. Current Mood: good Current Music: Kanye West (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 17th, 2004
2:04 am	This isn't an excuse but... Well today was going as you'd expect your average Friday to go. Then I got hit in the eye with a racquetball. Then I went to the ER and was told I have several large scratches on the cornea and internal bleeding inside of the eye. I probably won't be updating anytime soon... or leaving my house for that matter. So I guess expect my next update on JST (Jewish Standard Time) as per normal. This is what happens when you mix nerds with athletics. Beware all with an IQ of above 100. Current Mood: Ouch Current Music: The sound of my eye bleeding. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 16th, 2004
1:32 am	Does writing a letter to Taco Bell make me fat? So for the first time in my life, I’m writing a letter of complaint to a fast food company. I thought I’d share it with all of you: First and most importantly, I'd like to express my disdain at the removal of the succulent deliciousness that is the cheesy bean and rice burrito. Words can’t describe my sorrow at the removal of this item from your menu. I can still remember the day as I rolled through your drive-through, anxiously awaiting my semiweekly delectable portion of pseudo-Mexican divinity, and I was told the item had been discontinued. It had felt as if loss had struck me through the stomach. As a frequent customer of your store, I’d like to request the return of this scrumptious sampling of heaven-in-a-flour-tortilla. My friends and myself will testify that Taco Bell just hasn’t been the same without this critical dish. Now for those of you who’ve noticed how long it’s been since my last update, you may wonder what I’ve done besides complain about the lack of scrumptious burritos. In truth I haven’t done very much lately. I’ve been through a drinking phase, a chess phase, and I’m currently in a workout phase. I’d combine the three, but they seem mutually exclusive as far as I’ve been able to deduce from the extensive testing of drinking while playing chess at night, then trying to get up to work out the next morning. It just doesn’t work. The other day for the first time in my life I lost money because of a chess game. A guy came up to the club and said he’d play any of us for five dollars. I thought I’d give it a shot – gambling is normally entertaining at the very least, if not lucrative. Besides that, my confidence has been bolstered recently by beating one of the top players in the DC/Metro area – an International Master. Unfortunately for me, I made a few huge mistakes and subsequently lost. I beat him the next game, but even great feats such as that won’t bring my five dollars of purchasing power back to me. That’s enough to buy four bean burritos with a few centavos left over. To stick with the theme of the entry, another first for me is using my LJ as an advertising forum. If you go to GMU you should come to the chess club. If you’re not good, we give free lessons. If you’re good I don’t know why you’re not there already. It meets T/W/R from 5 through 9pm outside of the game room in SUB I. You can stop by any time within that range. Lastly, I’m going to try and update my journal more frequently. As much as some of you may fear stumbling through a piece of my careless writing, you have to admit that the practice will do me good. Deep thought of the day: If my car had transmission fluid, would I still have walked several miles today? Current Mood: exanimate Current Music: Debussy - Nocturne (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 29th, 2004
5:14 pm	The missing misinterpretted misconception of travel So the big question right now is: how is carpal tunnel surgery? I could be long winded and describe the excruciating pain subsequent to the surgery, but I'll leave you with a simple holistic word that encompasses the entire process: sucks. I'm glad something I learned in third grade carries over as such as an essential portion of my everyday speech habits. Given the amount of time since my last update, it's needless to say that much has occurred. Most notably of said occurrences is my trip to California. California is an amazing place. The weather is warm and so are the people. The culture expresses itself in an unhurried and relaxed fashion, as opposed to the frantic and hyperactive pace that people carry themselves with around here. After much investigation into the cause of this culture-shift, I stumbled upon the epitome that defines this pungent dichotomy. I'm sure you're all familiar with the practice of "calling 5's." Anyone can reserve their seat for 5 minutes while they're going to the bathroom, getting a drink, etc. If they fail to return within 5 minutes their seat is considered open. In California the practice of 5's does not exist. At some point in time the "no swoops" system was implemented - the archetype seating arrangement for a society of type B personalities. The no swoops system works similar to the system of calling 5's, however the brutal and unforgiving 5 minute time constraint is abolished. The seat-holder may return at their leisure and reclaim the seat. The west coast denizens have no immediate urge to consume the tangible seating advantages of their peers after a slight mistake in calculating the keg line. The circumscribed 5 minute limit ensures a mandatory and diligent attention to time and a forceful fight for the lost property in the wake of the loss of reservation. Onto a more lighthearted subject: I believe that I've commit the ultimate bar faux pas while there. To give some background to the situation, I drank a lot. I'm usually a nice person - and believed myself incapable of performing this act of testicular fortitude prior to this incident. 8-10 shots of Captain Morgan's followed by several beers and 8 strong vodka and tonics will change anyone's demeanor though. It started when I was talking to this girl named Anne. Being that I'd already spent about 60 dollars at the bar that night I was quite broke at the time and couldn't buy her a drink. A slight bar fallacy, however it's forgivable under the circumstances. Things were going fairly well, we spoke for about 15 minutes. Throughout the conversation I was glancing across the table at her friend Heather, who happened to be quite attractive. I asked Anne to introduce me to her friend. About 1 minute after that occurred, I told Anne that I had to leave. I got up, and somehow ended up sitting down across the table from Anne, and talking to Heather. Anne had quite a disgusted look on her face, but somehow I got along quite well with Heather despite what had just occurred. I'm not one to kiss and tell, but that night was very fun. I'm not really sure how any of this happened. My actions or theirs. It's as out of character for me to do something like that as it would be for a girl to tolerate something like that. I blame the cheap alcohol and the no swoops system. Deep thought of the day: California is fun. Current Mood: embarrassed Current Music: Tori Amos - Scarlet's Walk (5 Comments |Comment on this)